I have a new site! If you aren't automatically redirected, please click here

Post exam shopping and stuff(:

Leave a Comment
Block test one finally ended, and towards the end, it was more like "wish it would end" rather than "I wanna do well!"

The day when blocks ended I went home ate and slept for the whole day. It was pure nirvana I swear.

Okie so I went out with mom the next day for food and then we shopped around.

First off at Popular...


Please DO NOT buy me this, I am serious. I won't be able to use it. :D

HAHA a larger version! so cute!

Okay so here is the shallow part of my blog, with selfies and what not.
I see the first one as a potential DP! Bahahahaha.

I bought the white outfit with skirt in the end because I really liked it! :).

And I tried the blue blouse, it was pretty good, but I didn't want to buy so many. I tend to feel guilty if I buy too much things.

P.S. I think contacts are wayyyyy better than specs. I mean I look so much younger!
But aiyah not worth the trouble, like cornea abrasions and what nots haha..

While we were waiting for food, there was a burst of sun, so of course I had to take selfie right! (Partly because it was a new phone heh xD)

For those of you who keep asking about the eyes, yes it is contact lenses (black, diameter 16.5mm, I think it is barbie if I am not wrong, and I bought them from here)

Lust to Lush is fantastic for me, because I can buy just one pair at a time, for mine it is only S$9.00, with mailing it is 10 bucks. Still pretty good. I like the ones I am wearing because they can be put in super easily, unlike Clearlab, whose lenses I always have trouble putting them in. Both are comfortable, it is just that the curvature is different, me thinks?

Anyway, Lust to Lush is fabulous, just saying :D

(Wow okay, the eyes are really a bit too shiny, blearrrgh)

Yep, and I got a pair of heels at a good price, will post photo sometime later.

ASEAN youth forum today, damn tiring and hot and tedious, but I made friends! I liked everyone in my group muhhahas :) They were so nice:)

Yes, that's me again, a very sad photo because I was so tired and warm, but hey the lighting it good. What do we do when there is good lighting?

WE ZIPAI AND ZILIAN shamelessly.

Like what I do.

Yeah come Monday I will stop because school starts and school always kills my spirit.

Oh yes yes, for my coming birthday, just in case you like Den or Sluggy who like people to tell them what to buy, you can get me any of the following! 
  • Old Town White Coffee, hazelnut is preferred.
  • Pilot Maica pens (black/blueblack/blue/purple/brown)
  • Contact lens (black/brown) from Lust to lush (degrees: 4.5 and 5.0)
  • CUTE stuffed toys

I know it is like "aiyo so shameless" but isn't it better than people spending a lot of money buying you stuff that you don't dare to use? Because it is too nice and too expensive? Like I get wayyy too expensive diaries and stuff, from HQ and Sluggy. Ooah, okay maybe I should feel paiseh....

Please don't buy anything too expensive, like please please because I will feel really bad, and I don't have enough money to buy you stuff that's equally nice. Like that time Sluggy and JQ got me headphones that is close to $70, and till now I haven't gotten JQ anything good enough (but this year I have surprise for her, shhhh! :)))) *squeals in delight*). Sofffyyyy is okie I guess?

And if your birthday is coming, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO BUY! I really don't want to get you things that you are not going to use/ shelve away, so please tell me what you like? Like don't need to be shy de, because I will really appreciate it if you just tell me what to get! :)) Like Den, JQ, Leon (harrrrumph) and etc.

BUT NVM HAH, who cares. ^^||

Okie, that's all for now, will update about Asean Youth Forum soon! :))

Giraffe Says Goodbye

Leave a Comment
I read from here about the giraffe who nuzzled the dying zookeeper, who has been cleaning his enclosure for most of his adult life.

It is quite heartbreaking, yet so comforting to see such strong bonds between the giraffe and the zookeeper. It is like, there are no words exchanged, yet one knows that the other is sick, and the other knows that it knows that he is sick.

Source: The Independent
The look on the giraffe's face seems to be so concerned, and almost sad. It is like he could tell that he was going to lose a friend.

I sincerely hope that Mario, the zookeeper, would enjoy the last of his days in a relaxed, calm and happy manner with his family, the giraffe, and pray that a miracle would happen to him. :'(

What a rabbit taught me about Love

When I was in Secondary 2, I bought a baby rabbit in Shanghai because I believed that I loved it so much. My mentality then was that, because I loved it, I have to buy it, so that I can love it more.

My pet rabbit, Tutu.
I was wrong.

It took me three years to realize that my "love" for the bunny then was immature. I bought it because it was adorable, and I loved petting it, complacently thinking that loving an animal was so easy - it was all about petting and stroking it.

I was wrong.

It took me three years to realize that my supposed "love" for my rabbit was not real love at all. In fact I now wonder if the love was for Tutu, or for myself. It was a selfish form of love: I buy a rabbit and I put it inside the confines of a larger cage with occasional free times, just so that I could feel happy watching it nibble on carrot strips and do cute things like washing its face. All the while, I had declared to anyone who would listen to me, "I loved my rabbit Tutu." when in fact, I am really, selfishly loving myself.

Why? Because loving something isn't about making yourself happy and arrogantly believing that just because you are happy, the object of your affection is, therefore, also happy. It is about being more selfless (I say "more", because I suppose that absolutely selfless love is a rare commodity), and putting the welfare, the needs and the sentiments of the item of your adoration before your own.

On a whole uglier picture, consider this:
A man claims that he loves you. Because he loves you so immensely, he must have you for himself. He keeps you locked in a house, brings you food and takes you on occasional outings to have fun. He also makes love to you, why? Because he declares that "he loves you".

Is that loving you? Or himself?

We can see so much more clearly here that the man is most likely to be loving himself, and it is doubtless that that is a very very twisted, psychopathic form of love.

Was my supposed "love" for my rabbit any better? It wasn't.

What have I done for my rabbit that had made its life better? Nothing lasting. Petting, I learnt, is a very very shallow form of love, also the easiest type of love that often stems from self-satisfying needs.

My form of love is insufficient because I couldn't, and I didn't do anything for it. If it had been bought by another owner who had given it a much better hutch filled with soft hay, a decent water bottle, a shelter from the cold, and plenty of variations in food, that would have been love for the rabbit. Instead of me, who kept it in a bare cage, left to my grandfather's care and very often exposed to the cold, no lining, no nothing.

I did it so so much wrong.

If loving is about grand words and speeches, then my feelings would have been considered love. I spoke often about getting my rabbit a new hutch, hay, organic carrots and grains, but none of these materialized. My whole family must have been taken in by this grand appearance of love, because they said that I was crazy concern over the rabbit, a title that is far too noble for my selfish self.

I learnt from then that genuine love is about a consistent show of concern, not a pontification of ideals, much less empty words and no action. My grandfather must have loved it more than I did, because when I returned home, he was the one who took care of the bunny tirelessly, cleaning its cage and clearing out its poop, remembering to provide for it daily. What are my empty words of passing concern ("Is Tutu doing well?") compared to this loyal display of concern and care? Delving deeper, my grandfather took such care of it because he knew it was precious to me, and he loved it like he loved me.

Never once did I hear my grandfather speak of the rabbit fondly, much less claim that he loves it. He complained about having to clean up after it so frequently, and always having to wake up early to buy it fresh vegetables, grumbling that it is such a hassle to a busy doctor like himself. While I indulged myself in whimsical, dramatic visions of a tear-inducing reunion with the rabbit, daydreaming about how it would bound up to me, its whiskers twitching in delight, my grandfather loved the rabbit silently and tirelessly.

I was so so foolish.

I didn't even notice when Tutu started to be less active and more sedentary, or when his bright red eyes lost their shine and started to look dull. I, with my superficial and selfish love, just continued to smile at the rabbit foolishly and sighing over how adorable it was to by lying on its side, when really, it must have been so weak that it couldn't move. I didn't notice it when it died.

My grandfather did.

He never shed a tear, merely wrapping it up in a black bag and tossing it to the bin. In a stark, almost ridiculously-comedic contrast, I played the part of a bereaved owner, crying and blubbering and once again, wailing that we needed a funeral for the rabbit. I wonder now, whether I was crying for the rabbit or for myself, and I now realize that my tears were as useless as my love - they were for myself.

I also only learnt, too late, that funerals are meant for the living and not the dead. There is little point in eulogizing the dead that we didn't appreciate it while it was living. I must have wanted to console myself for being a terrible owner that much.

A Korean drama taught me that,
The opposite of love is not hate, but that "I am sorry, I can't do anything for you."

I didn't love my rabbit because I did nothing for it and everything for myself. It was myself whom I loved from the start, and I was too much of an ignoramus to understand it.

It has to take me so long to realize that loving a person, or a thing, isn't really about telling the person, "I love you." but allowing the person to feel that you do. I understand now why my mother has never told me she loved me, but I am so absolutely sure about her maternal love. She, unlike me, has proven everything through everything she does. For one thing, she always keeps me on her mind, effortlessly, because I am that important to her.

She told me that love doesn't need words. She is right.

She also told me that loving a person means to put the person at topmost priority, to be always worried or anxious about the person, and about doing everything just to make a person happy. It is never really so much about making yourself happy, because that would be loving yourself.

She is right.

She said that love isn't about expecting what you can receive from the person, but about what you can give to the person.

She is right. Again.

My rabbit taught me to not mistake the love for myself to be a form of grand love for others, and that words really don't count that much. It taught me that loving someone is to be there when the person most needs you, and to give without anticipating returns.

It taught me how very very wrong I was to believe that "loving something" was enough.

It wasn't.

It was more about commitment, patience, endurance, care and concern that never wavered. My rabbit, and my family, taught me how to love truly, through their actions, not words.

Three years later, I am still learning to love genuinely and selflessly and at times, I still fail to do so. At the very least, I have learnt not to call feelings of affection "love" or to love something selfishly.

I am learning to devote and to commit to my family more than what I have done before, because love is also at the very basic, a form of responsibility. I think I will learn to do that eventually, because the last lesson I learnt about love, is that it can never be learnt fully.


Hada Labo 3-in-1 Whitening Gel Moisturizer

Leave a Comment
Sponsored Review

Hey yo everyone, I am baaaack! :)

Today I have yet another cool stuff to share with you guys and more importantly, girls!

Hada Labo 3-in-1 Whitening Gel!
As usual, I have been using this for close to a month prior to this review, so you can read this feeling rest assured that I didn't just get a product, smell it and spout some nonsense! :)

I am totally loving the box it comes in, I mean, look at that shimmer!

shimmery box, yep!

Product Information straight from press release!
Hada Labo 3-in-1 Arbutin Whitening Perfect Gel contains 3 trinity efficacious ingredients that penetrate within and work on 
the skin synergistically:

  • Natural Arbutin: High concentration levels at 3% of Japanese pharmaceutical-level Arbutin to offer effective whitening results. Enhances skin fairness and targets dark spots.
  • Efficacious Vitamin C Concentrate: Proven anti-oxidant enhances collagen production, inhibits the appearance of dark spots and reawakens the appearance of dull skin.
  • Hyaluronic Acids (HA) and nano-Hyaluronic Acids: HA is a natural component found on skin. The duo-HA molecules instantly hydrate and lock-in moisture, keeping skin soft, smooth & bouncy.

Did you managed to understand that? Maybe it is a little too long winded, so let me summarize it for you! Basically, the three best points about this whitening gel is:

  1. Whitening effect + spots reduction
  2. Keeps skin youthful looking
  3. Moisturizes, makes skin soft smooth and bouncy.
And it is definitely not kidding about making your skin bouncy: immediately after application, skin becomes hydrated, smooth and more elastic.

Remember the advertisement from Hada Labo that depicts the soft, supple and almost sticky looking skin? Yes! That's almost the effect, but not that dramatic! Personally, I don't wish for my skin to be that sticky, especially not in the local weather because of the level of humidity!


So here is my verdict after almost a month long use:

  • Very hydrating, very moisturizing! I love how it can immediately add moisture to my dry skin, especially after bathing or washing my face, the skin tends to dry out quickly.
  • Makes one's skin smoother, and more supple! Check! That happened too! I realized that my complexion generally became less bumpy and dried out after usage.
  • Whitening effect + radiant effect are not the most obvious, but still evident nonetheless. In fact, I am more relieved that it has not made me a ghastly shade of white after use because that would mean that it contains some sort of bleaching agent right? Since it did not, I can assume it safe and more natural!

Check out the pure looking, almost translucent gel texture! You will love it!

Don't forget to check out Hada Labo's Facebook page and join their Snow Princess game! You might stand a chance to win something - you never know if you never try~~! :)

Also, don't forget to redeem a free e Hada Labo Arbutin Whitening Lotion sample on SampleStore.com! Just head over to the link, create a free account, click on "Sponsored Samples" and choose the sample! As easy as 1, 2,3! :))

For those who are interested in purchasing the retail size, you can head over to any of the outlets listed below to purchase 80g (the size you see in my picture) for S$38.90!

  • BHG
  • Guardian
  • NTUC
  • OG
  • Robinsons
  • Sasa
  • Unity
  • Watsons

Trust me, it is worth it because you don't have to apply to much each time, just dab on the forehead and cheeks and massage them in. I have used it for a month and I keep feeling like the amount didn't decrease at all!

Till next time, see you all!

Stay beautiful! :)

What do you want to be in the future?

Leave a Comment
I know. In the face of the coming national exams that seems to more or less decide how the rest of our lives would be, I have been asked that over and over again.

I haven't been able to answer that question for a while.

Remember the scholarship fair last year? I went around there and took a look, the personnel at each booth asked me the same question. Initially I tried to be honest.

"I want to become a farmer."

A farmer?! They echoed in utmost surprise. Where can you go to become a...farmer?

Some lost interest after that, others told me that it was an unusual dream, a rare one. Certainly it was.

But the more I think about the rustic landscape, the openness of the pastures and the appeal of the nature, a simple cottage with all my own farm animals surrounding it, the more the idea appealed to me.

I searched around for images of farmhouses, and I am surprised to see them so grand. I am thinking more of a simple, small cottage, like the tiny tool shed in the left of the picture, but also situated within the green lands like this one.

Looking at it makes me feel so much happier.

I don't enjoy the rat race of city life, or the noise, much less the pollution. I am also not much of a social butterfly, preferring to be left alone to my own devices with less human interaction. I love animals however, and I keep thinking about how heavenly it would be to rear my own free range chickens, and to eat my eggs without having to worry about all the artificial hormones and antibiotics and whatnot.

Perhaps then I would turn vegetarian because I live with the animals that I am supposed to eat, and when we treat each other like family, like mutuals and connect more emotionally, it would be so much harder to think of them as a mere food product. Perhaps then I would learn to see chickens with their own personality, give them names like Sally, Jim and Pepper and not just see them as "chicken wings" and "yum! chicken breasts!".

Aren't these little fluffs adorable?
Maybe when we witness the growing up process, and experience how it is like to nurture a chicken in a humane way, we would be less tempted to eat it as compared to when we see them as mere food products.

"Hey, cuddle! Someone's taking our photo."
Although, I do admit that I am an absolute meat lover, and I believe that it would take me quite a lot of effort to change this habit. Maybe I won't be able to change it. Maybe I would be able to compromise with myself - I only eat those chickens who are already dead from AGE (not illness!)

Sustenance farming shouldn't be as stressful as commercial farming right?

Ooh, and I like cows! They are such relaxed creatures. Free range cows are probably happy creatures. Me thinks that I will only keep three. Any more than that I won't be able to have the time to pay attention to all of them.

The cows here look so stoned haha
I think it would be nice to try organic farming and all things organic and free range.

My mom and I keep discussing this over and over, like what animals to keep. So far we like:

  1. 3 cows
  2. 5-6 chickens
  3. 2 dogs
  4. 2 cats
  5. 4-5 sheep/lamb
  6. 2 goats
  7. 1 horse and 1 pony
  8. 5 ducks
  9. 6 pigs and piglets
  10. terrapins, fishes, koi, anything that live in a pond.
  11. Maybe a tortoise. I like chillax things.

Aren't foster parents and foster children so adorable and sweet?

I think I would love to adopt any other animals that come to my farm, and not turn them away. It is so idealistic that even to me it sounds like a whole bunch of phony idealism. I mean, do I have the capital to do this? Would my crops grow? What if my animals fall sick?

I am still thinking about whether I should have internet connection and phone...I like the idea of being a hermit, but then connection is rather important.

Maybe internet but no Facebook?


Dreams, they are so beautiful.
They make reality all the more harsh.
Leave a Comment
I know I haven't been blogging faithfully, because I am having a really busy time with the impending exams (school-based) and the looming prospect of A-levels!

I swear that once this year is over, I will redouble my efforts into blogging kay? :)

Cheers! :D

A Friend

Leave a Comment
I have a good friend since Primary 4.

Sometimes I wonder if the person can remain unchanging and guilelessly kind against the crashing of the tides and the fall of the pendulum, but then I would remember.

I remember the person being kind to me since my first day in a totally new environment in an alien school where I did not know anyone.

I remember the person giving me his own Chinese textbook when I didn't bring mine, forcing him to share with another person.

I remember the person almost always being the first to apologize whenever we argued, and at that time, I had always thought that it was because I was right - I wasn't. He was much more mature despite his innocence and he apologized first despite the fact that I was really just being a terrible, self-centered person like I had always been. Perhaps he understood that sometimes it wasn't about being right or wrong.

I remember the person laughing and saving up his money just to buy me fries in primary school - one dollar, mind you, was a large amount at that time.

I also remember that the person would always be there for me when I was bullied, and I remembered myself always trying to interfere when he was bullied. That sort of made primary school days more bearable.

I remembered too, that the person has the funniest ways of cheering people up, by giving them fishes and water snails and shrimps (live!!) and also a guppy and a goldfish. However, I also remember that the person loved his food so much that he won't offer me a second donut cookie despite my very not subtle hints like, "HEY THE DONUT IS GREAT! Where did you get them?"

In my memories, the person was sincerely the most tolerant, kind and compassionate individual I had met in primary school, despite the fact that he once tried to catch an earthworm with an oil filled plastic bag, on the basis that EARTHWORMS EAT OIL. (Earthworms eat sand! Not oil!)

Oh yes, the person has weird habits. Like being an absolute perfectionist (thank god he lost that), and being a stubborn OCD who checks under the table about ten times before going home, and forcing me to check it for him just to make sure that his eyes are not wrong. When I did, he would gleefully rush out of the classroom just to have me stamp my feet realizing that it was all a prank.

I always believed that no friendships can be maintained if you never even communicate in person for four years, but hey, it is strange yet awesome that we can talk like there was never a four year gap. Or that we have ever changed from our childhood selves.

There was no fear of criticism or judgments for being who I am when I speak to him, despite me becoming harsh, cynical and realistic. You realized he never judged anyone apart from jokingly, because he is such a darn good person that I doubt evil has ever entered his world.

So at times when I look at him and wonder how is it possible that he hasn't changed from that kind person he once was while I have changed so so much; my paranoid self also wondered if it could ever be possible if he, like so many others, would be befriending me for utilitarian purposes. An excess of exposure to harshness has made me fearful, paranoid and skeptical.

Then I remember, he wouldn't. Nor would it have mattered. You know that someone is a truly good friend when the person has been good to you not just in your best and most glamorous moments, but also stoically there with you in your worst and most pitiful moments and never looked at you with a discriminating eye.

You know, maybe, for this kind of friend, it is worth taking down your guards as well as a risk.

So, if you are reading this, and you know you are the person who made life bearable in primary school, thank you, sincerely and I will try to treat you better hehe. (Yeah I feel so guilty about being so bad.)